Dear friend,
Just wanted to share some exciting news – Sean and I recently celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary! It's been an incredible journey filled with laughter, adventure, and of course, lots of opportunity for growth.
To commemorate this milestone, I put together a list of nine lessons we've learned over the years–one for each year we've been married. I shared them on social media, and one lesson in particular sparked a lot of conversation – Healthy Communication is Key (Year 5).
Let's face it, communication can be tricky, especially in a romantic relationship. We all come from different backgrounds and communication styles, and sometimes, those differences can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. Here's what I learned in year five (and continue to learn every day!) that's made a big difference for us:
- From Yelling to “Boring” Fights: I admit, I used to kind of enjoy yelling. Not the result of it, but raising my voice in the moment of anger felt good, like a release. The thing is, yelling itself never helped us work through an issue or made Sean respect me. Sometimes, what feels good and right in the moment isn't always good and right; it's often just impulse. Our fights now consist of thoughtful, quiet discussions with long moments of thinking before choosing the words we want to say. Our “boring” fights have helped us come much quicker to resolutions.
- "I" Statements: We've learned to convey our emotions using "I" statements – "I feel frustrated when..." instead of accusatory statements like "You always...". It takes the blame out of the equation and allows for a more productive conversation.
- Active Listening is a Two-Way Street: Communication isn't just about talking, it's about truly listening to what your partner is saying. Putting away distractions, making eye contact, and trying to understand their perspective can make a huge difference.
- Timing is Everything: Picking the right moment to have a difficult conversation is crucial. Bringing up sensitive topics when you're both stressed or tired is a recipe for disaster. Instead, wait for a calm moment when you can both be present and receptive.
These are just a few things that have helped us navigate the waters of communication in our marriage. It's an ongoing process, but by making a conscious effort to communicate effectively, we've built a stronger foundation for our relationship.
