Sometimes I Hate Parenting (And It’s Okay to Admit That)

This was a hard week.

Right after I wrote that sentence, I almost followed it with: “But there were beautiful moments too!” I’m very aware of how dwelling in negativity can shape the brain.

But I had to remind myself of something I tell my clients all the time: admitting something is hard doesn’t invalidate the good moments. Sitting with pain doesn’t erase joy. In fact, accepting the hard parts often helps us move through them faster.

So I’ll say it again.

This was a hard week.

Mostly related to parenting.

Two of my kids have been fighting constantly. I know logically it hasn’t been nonstop for months, but it certainly feels that way. I’m talking hitting, kicking, yelling, hair-pulling, bugging each other, mean words—everything.

And as someone who tries to model self-regulation and healthy communication in our home, it drives me absolutely crazy.

To add some context, it was also one of those perfect storms of a week:

• Everyone got the stomach flu except me, which meant I was the one keeping things running while everyone else felt miserable.
• We had to make a two-day trip out of the country for visa purposes.
• My mom came to visit, which added internal pressure to make sure she was enjoying her time.
• It was my birthday, Valentine’s Day, and my husband’s birthday all in the same stretch of time.

Even with all that context, in the middle of the hardest moments I found myself thinking things like:

I hate parenting.
Why does this suck so much?
Their relationship is doomed.
Why isn’t my husband reading parenting books instead of the news?
I give up.

And honestly, thinking those things felt terrible. It filled me with guilt. It sent me to my knees in prayer asking for strength, forgiveness, and clarity.

Because the truth is, I want to be a good parent for my kids. I care deeply about their wellbeing and about them having loving relationships with each other.

But wanting to be a good parent doesn’t mean every moment feels good.

And that’s the point.

Two things can be true at the same time.

You can love your kids deeply and still feel overwhelmed.
You can make mistakes and still be a good parent.
You can have a hard day and still be building a beautiful family.

The hard moments don’t cancel out the good ones.

And while I’m intentional about pointing out kindness and positive moments to my kids, I also want to be honest with the adults reading this.

Parenting can be really hard.

If you’re in the middle of a tough season, you’re not alone.

You can spiral.
You can feel angry.
You can have a terrible day.

And you can still love your family deeply while giving yourself grace and committing to keep trying.